And Anyway ,What is Negative Space?

And Anyway, What is Negative                                        Space?

And so we blended and possessed

Each in each the phantom guest,

Inseperate, we scarcely met;

Yet other love-nights forget!

                                                the Phantom Guest

                                                Natalie Clifford Barney

I’ve always had trouble wondering what all

there is about negative

space – it makes me, doesn’t it ? – and you –

precisely

and by what it is not.  And what is not is this: somewhere

in the world but not my world

(maybe your world –

                you’re world?)

the moon’s gone just past

full and it’s sitting in your lap

the way a sick child might.  It’s been up all night

exhausted in a fever.  Dull, as when a cloud was

brighter and then when it all briefly went windblown

to parts – how sweaty the hair of her on your bare

shoulder, the length

of the slip-

strap stretching, then slack – soon

                                embedded in the gone lax cheek skin.

What’s negative here is what’s not

here – the hospital room – that’s someone else’s story –

the cool tile of the bathroom

                floor – though soon won’t that be

                yours, having

                to rise having

                to be near where everyone can be

                sick and be free

I imagine I’m uncomfortable enough in what’s

                negative by filling it and making it define

                a lie so well it becomes

the truth.  So yes, the moon.  It’s true. Yes, the sick

kid, it’s true.  But who

held her, well not that’s for a fact

not happening.  Really she’s twisted

in her sheets.  She’s just home

from a pit-party.  So there’s sticks

in her hair.  And even if later she blames the blood

on menstruation, period, she’ll pull

whatever curtain around her and make it all

into that space I have trouble wondering,

that negative defining (because right now

it’s important to say

the chickadee is hanging with the seed-bag

ok no she’s just flown off)

never quite makes it and maybe

I guess it’s not a maybe,

that’s the whole dam

point somewhere it’s draining someplace

there’s a beaver with a feshet

of twigs aiming straight for the whole hole

and it’s not enough

not ever

to cover it plug it seal it completely

(and not entirely

possible anyway)

God’s honest. Truth.